How to Ease Separation Anxiety
Is your child experiencing separation anxiety? CABOOSH has some tips that might help you in the journey towards a worry-free separation.
Tantrums, clinginess, or crying when you say goodbye are all indicators of separation anxiety. It’s normal for a child to experience some level of anxiety upon separation. This can be a healthy reaction as part of the normal process of development. Separation anxiety can occur anywhere between their first birthday and the age of four. However, the frequency and intensity of these episodes can vary from child to child. Even when a child is older, it’s normal for them to experience a little worry. The good news is that the right coping strategies can help minimise the effects of separation anxiety. If you’d like to learn more about how to ease separation anxiety, you are in good company.
As a parent, you want your children to have the best experience possible in before & after school care. CABOOSH values your child’s experience too. As we have many years of experience with so many different situations, we have taken note of some practices that work best for these scenarios. If separation anxiety is affecting your child’s enjoyment of their activities, this blog could help.
It’s important to note that some children may experience something called separation anxiety disorder. It can be hard to tell the difference between regular separation anxiety and the disorder. If the symptoms are intense and persistent, it could be a sign of an issue for the professionals.
5 of our best tips on how to ease separation anxiety
Change is not easy, no matter how old you are. When a child encounters a new environment, they need to adapt to the changes. Whether it’s their first time in before & after school care or their first time in a new classroom, there are steps you can follow to make the process easier.
Nurture Consistency
At the core of separation anxiety is the fear or worry that a child won’t be kept safe. Safety is a core need for every individual, especially for children on their journey of development. The best way to cultivate a sense of safety is to develop consistency. Consistency can look like a variety of things. For example, it can look like having a consistent, primary caregiver. Whether the consistent caregiver is a parent, grandparent, or even a babysitter, having someone who is there whenever the child has a need will help when changes come. Having a routine for the child will also help to decrease their anxiety. Consistent mealtimes, play times and bedtimes will create a framework for safety.
When it comes to before and after school care – having a consistent drop off and pick up time for the first few weeks can be a huge help to an anxious child. When they have a set time they can look forward to their caregiver coming to get them, it can allow them to relax and enjoy the activities offered.
Consistency will ease separation anxiety when your child first attends before & after school care. As they develop an internal sense of safety, they will better adapt to change.
Encourage Communication
While you are learning how to ease separation anxiety, it’s important to talk about the issue. Children are not like adults. They are still learning and developing emotional maturity and awareness. They can be reactive, but that is where we can step in and help them regulate their emotions. It’s important to communicate changes to your children. Communication is a two-way street, not only when it comes to talking but also when it comes to listening. Have a conversation with your children about their involvement in before & after school care or any other new activity. As you chat to them, listen to their feelings, and validate them. Effective communication is all about understanding each other. Understanding creates an empathetic space where trust can be built.
Communication teaches children there is a safe space for their feelings. The level of trust will increase when there is effective communication. Trust will then lead to a greater sense of safety. Feeling heard will have a healing effect on your child.
Follow Through
One of the ways to cultivate the feeling of safety and belonging is to develop confidence in your child. Following through on the pickup times, for instance, will grow this confidence. While sometimes factors out of your control might delay you, you can have consistency over a long period of time. Telling your child that you are leaving and will return is part of following through. Of course, we are not suggesting you wouldn’t return. What we are saying is that it’s important to prove that reliability for them to experience greater ease.
One easy tip on how to ease separation anxiety is to leave without fanfare. This is also part of following through. Your behaviour will create a clear expectation for your child. Clear expectations help prepare them for what is to come while increasing their confidence.
Maximise Routine
Many parents and caregivers seem puzzled when learning how to ease separation anxiety. But children can have somewhat predictable predispositions. For instance, children thrive when there is a routine present. Routine brings structure into their world. You could develop a goodbye routine to reassure your child that they are safe in their new environment. The routine could start with practiced separation, where the child stays with a new caregiver for short periods of time. The routine could also include a goodbye hug or kiss. Establishing a routine allows you to set limits in terms of what is acceptable behaviour.
A goodbye routine is essential, as it will decrease their levels of anxiety. Remember to keep the goodbye moment short and sweet.
Offer Encouragement
Your child’s feelings are valid, and recognising they are valid is an important part of the process. When they show any emotional behaviours, reassure them that they will be fine. Stay calm and show them they have no reason to worry. This is the moment to remain firm and not give in. This is also the moment to offer praise. Even the smallest positive behaviours should be recognised. Remember your child is not an adult, and they don’t think like one. When they show positive behaviour, they are genuinely growing.
This is also a moment to encourage them to join in the activity at hand. The CABOOSH team have worked with many children over the years who have experienced some level of separation anxiety. From experience, we can say that the best encouragement is when both parents and educators partner to integrate the child into the activities of the program.
How to ease separation anxiety – when to seek professional help
It’s normal to experience some anxiety; however, it’s not normal for a child to experience extreme distress when they are away from their primary caregiver. Normal separation anxiety and separation anxiety disorder can look similar, so it might be confusing to understand whether your child has one or the other. There are some main differences between the two. Children who have separation anxiety disorder often become distraught at the simple thought of being away from their caregivers. They might even complain of sickness to avoid an activity such as attending school. If the behaviours and emotions are persistent and extreme, then it might be time to chat to your GP.
Separation anxiety disorder can originate from various sources, including trauma. The good news is that separation anxiety disorder is treatable. Consulting with a specialist is key in working out where the issue is coming from. It might be time to seek professional help if the following are present:
Extreme fear of leaving their caregivers
Withdrawal from activities or peers
Extreme preoccupation, guilt, or agitation
Constant reluctance to go to school
Extreme fear of leaving their place of comfort (home)
Preparing Your Child for Before & After School Care
The team at CABOOSH are experienced educators and are dedicated to making sure your children have a fun, educational and caring before & after school or vacation care experience. Our staff are trained to deal with children who experience separation anxiety. It’s normal for a child to feel reluctant when stepping into a new environment. Our goal is to ensure they feel safe and happy to enjoy the program. Preparing your child for before & after school care includes some of the tips we discussed earlier. The best thing is to communicate what’s coming up and what it will look like. CABOOSH will partner with you to give your child the best experience possible.
Separation anxiety can pop up in times of change. Both patience and communication will prepare your child for before & after school care and ease the tension. We operate out of the Camden Baptist Church. This means our programs are delivered in a nurturing Christian environment. The dedicated space of the church grounds is the perfect environment for your children to relax, play and enjoy their time outside of school.
We partner with Camden Baptist Church to provide additional services to our families and the community, which includes a free tutoring program one afternoon each week for the children in our care.
There are also opportunities for your children to get involved in other programs offered by the church, including transitioning care on a Friday night into the church’s Neutrons & Girlztime programs (youth groups for primary school aged children).
Our Services
Before School Care
You can drop your child off at CABOOSH from 6:30am, and we’ll provide them with a nutritious breakfast. We’ll engage them in quiet activities suitable for the early hours of the morning to gently energise them before school starts. We’ll then drop them to school on our private minibuses. *
After School Care
After school care is perfect for busy families who are unable to pick their kids up from school. Our programs emphasise play, learning, recreation and social interaction.
Pupil Free / Staff Development Days
Our centre is open all day (6:30am-6:30pm) on most pupil free / staff development days. On these days, we provide your children with breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea and snacks, as well as a range of games and activities.
vacation care (school holiday programs)
We offer fun and exciting school holiday programs most days during school holidays. We are open all day from 6:30am to 6:30pm, giving you the flexibility you need to keep working, knowing that your kids are having a ball!
Find out more
If you are interested in finding out more about how CABOOSH’s after school care programs can benefit your child, don’t hesitate to get in touch with our friendly team who will be able to answer any questions you may have.
If you’re ready to enrol your child in any of our out of hours care programs, you can fill out our short enrolment form now.